Through Therapy counselling collective

The only way forward is through.

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we want you to know:

There is a way through.

We help teenagers and adults in Canada who are dealing with general life stress, difficult transitions, grief, trauma, and mental health struggles. We are also specifically trained to work with couples and families struggling with their relationships and longing for healthful change. Our therapists are client-centred and strength-based and can help you gain the insight needed to live your best life.

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About us.

We are a virtual practice, making appointments accessible wherever you are! And, if you live near one of our therapists, in-person appointments can be an option as well.

Our mission.

We exist to meet the needs of hurting people with compassionate and empathetic support. Our therapists believe that YOU are the expert in YOUR life, and we want to journey alongside you – helping you live that life to the fullest!

Our values.

We believe that skilled clinicians need to be relatable in order to create strong therapeutic relationships and be effective in their work so we strive to provide a warm and inviting setting for you to do the work of getting through your challenges.

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Our therapists.

Life can get complicated, and sometimes a safe conversation with a skilled and genuine listener can make all the difference. Get to know our therapists a bit to find the right person to walk with you on your journey.

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Hi, I'm Courtney.

I believe we are created for relationships. These relationships can wound us, but they also have tremendous healing potential. I work with individuals, couples, and families to explore their experiences and make meaning out of difficult circumstances. You might be looking for practical tools to help navigate challenges, or maybe you are looking for a fresh perspective from a perceptive professional. Maybe you need someone to journey with you on a difficult road, knowing you are not alone. Perhaps you need help to mend a ruptured relationship. I support all my clients with unconditional positive regard, no matter their reason or need for professional support. I recognize that you are the expert in your life, and I strive to provide a warm and accepting environment. Compassion and curiosity are the mainstays of my practice.For those interested in the details, I graduated Suma Cum Laude from Briercrest Seminary with a Master of Arts in Marriage & Family Therapy and am a Registered Marriage and Family Therapist and a Canadian Certified Counsellor, as well as a professional member of the AAMFT (American Association of Marriage & Family Therapists). As a therapist, I focus on systems, not just symptoms, as I am client-centred in my approach. I am EMDR trained and have received additional training in interpersonal trauma, emotionally-focused and narrative therapies, and substance use disorders. My research focus for my graduate work was on infertility and reproductive trauma. I am currently working on my Ph. D. in Counsellor Education and Supervision to equip the next generation of therapists.

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NOTE: I offer reduced rates for clergy and their family members.

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Hi, I'm Cara.

I am dedicated to creating a safe space for clients to process their concerns and bring a calm and empathetic presence to each session. I hold clients’ autonomy and agency in the highest regard and consider it a privilege to help clients facilitate the next part of their journey and growth.

I have a Master of Counselling degree with a major in Marriage & Family Therapy. I am a member of the Canadian Association of Marriage & Family Therapy and the Canadian Counselling & Psychotherapy Association. My approach is client-centred and attachment-based. It is informed by emotionally-focused therapy (EFT), narrative therapy and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). I have experience working with individuals, couples and families from various cultural backgrounds and religious belief systems.

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NOTE: I offer a sliding scale upon request.

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Hi, I'm Jennifer.

I believe life is both incredibly beautiful and incredibly hard. If you want to celebrate the beautiful and work through the hard, then I may be a good fit for you as a therapist. I will journey with you as you navigate difficulties like anxiety, depression, grief, life transitions, and challenging relationships.My counselling work is informed by narrative therapy, cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), emotionally focused therapy (EFT), and mindfulness. As a therapist, I feel my strengths are curiosity, compassion, and a sense of humour. I approach therapy as a client-centred and collaborative process, meaning that I bring my education and experience and you bring your expertise in your thoughts, emotions, experiences, and perspective and we work together to meet your therapeutic goals.Here at Through Therapy, I focus on working with children age 10 and up, teens, young adults, and couples. If you'd like to explore the possibility of working together, I encourage you to reach out for your free consultation. I'd love to hear your story.

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If you are located in the city of Regina, Saskatchewan, please go to The Caring Place to explore Jennifer’s in person counselling availabilities.

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Hi, I'm Keri.

I have a very warm and accepting approach and understand that life can be complicated and a good conversation can make a significant difference. I have experience working with a range of concerns, including couples/marital difficulties, depression, anxiety, traumatic experiences, family of origin concerns, life transitions and spirituality. Also, I'm thankful that I can draw upon my many years of experience helping others as a former pastor and director of a successful education-based young-adult program. I provide therapy to adults, young adults, and couples.I am a Registered Clinical Counsellor with the BC Association of Clinical Counsellors. I hold a Master’s degree in Counselling and have completed additional training in Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT), DBT, and CBT. I am happily married and have four school-aged children.

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NOTE: I offer a sliding scale upon request.

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Hi, I'm Melissa.

I believe an integral piece of therapy is in forming a safe and open space for connection. I am committed and blessed to meet clients where they are, whether in life’s struggles or growth. I am here to walk with clients through relational difficulties, adapting to life stages or life’s other hard things. As a therapist, I will hold space for the pain and the healing through genuine curiosity and empathy. As a client, I will support your autonomy and healing simultaneously. Therapy is unique to the client’s story and goals, whether to process or journey through an experience or develop new strategies or plans.I have a Master of Arts in Marriage and Family Therapy, and am an associate with CAMFT (Canadian Association of Marriage and Family Therapists), as well as a Canadian Certified Counsellor with CCPA (Canadian Counselling and Psychotherapy Association). I am dedicated to working with individuals, couples, or families in a relational, person-centered approach. As a trauma-informed therapist, I have acquired competency through narrative therapy, emotionally focused therapy (EFT) as well as through an attachment lens.

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NOTE: I offer a sliding scale upon request.

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Frequently asked questions.

• Does online counselling work?
• Does my insurance cover this?
• How much does it cost?
• How many sessions should I expect?
• Is online counselling secure?

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Contact us.

Please use the form on this page to send a message.
If you have questions, find answers in our FAQ.
You may also call or email anytime using the links below.

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info@throughtherapy.ca | (587) 782-7773

Terms of Use: By submitting this form via this web portal, you acknowledge and accept the risks of communicating your health information via this unencrypted email and electronic messaging and wish to continue despite those risks. By clicking "Yes, I want to submit this form" you agree to hold Through Therapy Incorportated harmless for unauthorized use, disclosure, or access of your protected health information sent via this electronic means.

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how we can help

Our services.

We help teenagers and adults who are dealing with general life stress, difficult transitions, grief, trauma, and mental health struggles. We are also specifically trained to work with couples and families struggling with their relationships and longing for healthful change.

Our therapists are client-centred and strength-based and can help you gain the insight needed to live your best life. You don’t have to through this alone.

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Individual therapy.

Are you having difficulty managing the challenges in your life? Do you need some new tools or a non-judgmental ear to listen? Would you benefit from individualized attention? Are you hesitant to talk to others about your problems? If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, then individual therapy could be the solution you have been searching for.Individual therapy is different from Group or Alternative therapy methods in that you are the sole focus of a single therapist who helps you develop and achieve your goals for therapy. If you have been feeling overwhelmed or lost lately or struggling with a problem that seems insurmountable, individual therapy could help you improve your life. With individual therapy, you can gain an expert in your corner to help you overcome whatever you are facing.If any of these sound like you:

Then individual therapy could be the right choice for you. It benefits many people because it is tailored to you and your needs. Group therapy has its advantages, but if you want more control over the pacing of your therapy, the methods used, the amount of analysis or feedback you can receive, and the timing of your sessions, then individual therapy might be the best choice.

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Therapy for depression.

Are you feeling overwhelmed, isolated, and not like your usual self? Do these thoughts often enter your mind:

You are not alone, and there are people who can help you through this. Our clients often find relief in realizing that their struggle does not define them and that many options are available to help them find hope for their lives. We understand the stigma of depression and strive to help our clients identify and address their environmental, biological, and circumstantial factors while providing support and care during this difficult time. If you are ready to regain control of your life and feel like yourself again, contact us today for a free consultation. Together, we can help you find the light at the end of the tunnel. Therapy can help you to uncover the root causes of your worries and fears, learn how to relax, look at situations in a new light, and improve coping mechanisms and problem-solving skills. If you think you may be struggling with depression, book a free consultation. Together, we can help you find the relief you deserve.Please note that we are not a crisis center. If you or someone you know is in danger, call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.

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Emotionally-focused therapy

Relationships are complicated; if you are struggling, you are not alone. Getting help for your relationship is an important step. According to the International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy, EFT is known as a cutting-edge, tested and proven couple intervention. This model operationalizes the principles of attachment science using non-pathologizing experiential and relational systems techniques to focus on and change core organizing factors in both the self and key relationships.Goals:

EFT is based on clear, explicit research-based conceptualizations of individual growth, health and dysfunction, relationships, distress, and adult love. EFT is collaborative and respectful of clients and has been validated by over 30 years of empirical research.There is also research on the change processes and predictors of success. EFT has been applied to many different kinds of problems and populations.

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Narrative therapy.

Narrative Therapy is a modern form of psychotherapy that encourages clients to explore their personal stories in order to better understand their current issues and ultimately develop solutions for their problems. It is based on the idea that every individual has their own unique narrative about themselves, their relationships, and their life, and that by better understanding that narrative, they can gain greater insight and resolution to any underlying trouble they may be facing.Although narrative therapy comes from a wide range of traditions and frameworks, it is ultimately focused on the power of storytelling to uncover problem-solving strategies and open up possibilities for growth and change. A practitioner of narrative therapy will use techniques such as deconstructing dominant stories, re-authoring experiences, and outside perspective to help their clients gain new insights into their struggles. The initial goal in narrative therapy is to assist with creating space between the client and their problem stories. The hope is that the client can begin to identify and unlearn the beliefs they may have attached to their experiences and allow new and more meaningful interpretations to replace the old ones. Narrative Therapy also focuses on the communication and relationships between the client and therapist to demonstrate to the client that it is possible to use humour, creativity, and courage to create positive change in difficult situations.Finally, Narrative Therapy seeks to separate the person (the individual) from the problem (their stories). This allows the client to understand their problem as an external thing better and not become defined by it. Instead, the emphasis is placed on the abilities, skills, and knowledge of the person rather than the problem itself. Overall, Narrative Therapy is a very effective and helpful form of therapy used to help individuals cope with a wide range of issues, from mental health disorders to grief counselling. Its emphasis on storytelling and re-authoring experiences makes it a beneficial tool for personal growth and change.

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Couples counselling.

Are you and your partner feeling like your relationship is at a standstill? Do you find yourselves stuck in the same argument loop every night? Do you feel like you are drifting away from each other? Do you desire more intimacy between you and your partner? No matter how big or small the issue, couples therapy can help you and your partner learn how to communicate your feelings and needs and get what you want out of your relationship. We specialize in helping couples with a variety of issues, such as:

At couples therapy sessions, we help people develop the necessary skills needed to maintain a solid and lasting love. If any of these issues are relevant to your relationship, contact us today for a free 15-minute consultation. We would be delighted to discuss how we can help you and your partner reconnect and rekindle your love for one another.

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EMDR

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing Therapy (EMDR) is an evidence-based treatment method for various mental and behavioural health issues. It is a therapeutic modality that has been studied and shown to be effective in treating Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), anxiety, depression and more. Essentially, EMDR is a form of psychotherapy that alleviates the distress and psychological symptoms associated with traumatic experiences and events. It is based on the theory of Accelerated Information Processing (AIP) and is rooted in one of the most fundamental principles of psychology, that the way an individual processes and emotionally reacts to a particular event is key to the development and maintenance of psychological difficulties.During an EMDR session, a trained clinician will walk the client through recollecting a traumatic event or experience while engaging in dual attention stimulation. This usually involves eye movements, occlusion, and auditory or tactile stimulation. The idea behind this is that dual attention stimulation allows the client to process information in both modes simultaneously and quickly, reprocessing the trauma and attaining symptom relief much more quickly than with other therapeutic approaches. One of the primary goals of EMDR is to facilitate the client's access to memory consolidation networks, allowing them to move beyond their traumatic experience while simultaneously reinforcing and developing their adaptive coping strategies and self-efficacy. During the reprocessing portion of the session, the client will be encouraged to reflect on the memory and the associated emotions, sensations and thoughts. At this point, the clinician will guide the client to secure a more positive outlook and perception of the event, such as how lessons and strengths were gained from the experience. The clinician will also help the client identify resources that can be used to effectively manage further distress related to the memory. Therefore, EMDR is a powerful form of therapy that is increasingly recognized as an effective tool for treating various mental health conditions, such as PTSD, phobias, depression, and anxiety. With EMDR, the goal is to allow the client to acknowledge, process, and eventually integrate the traumatic event to gain insight, resolution, and relief from the distressing events. Although EMDR is a relatively new approach, it has proven highly effective in many cases, providing rapid relief and allowing clients to move forward into a healthier, more fulfilled life.

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Counselling for trauma.

Most people will experience trauma at some point, whether it be a car accident, abuse or neglect, the sudden loss of a loved one, a violent criminal act, or exposure to the violence of war or a natural disaster. While many can recover from trauma with the love and support of family and friends and demonstrate resiliency, others may suffer from the lasting effects of trauma, which can cause deep emotional pain, fear, confusion, or post-traumatic stress long after the event has passed. In these cases, a therapist's support, guidance, and assistance are essential to healing from trauma. According to the DSM-5, trauma symptoms can include:

Research has shown that psychotherapy is the most effective form of treatment for trauma, with cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) being the most commonly used. We are here to help you through this. Contact us today for a free 15-minute consultation and begin your healing journey.

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Infertility.

Infertility counselling is an important, yet often overlooked, part of infertility treatments. It is essential for a couple or individual going through infertility treatments to receive professional counselling to help process their emotions and find support. It is also important for couples to understand the possible emotional effects of infertility treatments to be better prepared for what lies ahead in their journey. The primary function of infertility counselling is to provide emotional support to those struggling with infertility and the associated challenges. Counselling can help couples process their feelings of disappointment, helplessness, and sadness and provide them with the tools to learn to cope with their grief. Counsellors can also discuss the importance of self-care and stress management.Infertility counselling can also allow couples to discuss their hopes, fears, and worries about infertility. They can discuss the potential impact of infertility on their relationship, their social and family life, and their plans for the future. No matter the couple's decisions regarding infertility treatments, counselling can be an invaluable source of support to help them cope with their emotions and the process's emotional, practical, and psychological aspects.Ultimately, counselling is an important part of the psychological and emotional journey of infertility. It can provide couples and individuals going through infertility treatments with compassionate support, information, and guidance to help them feel more secure and empowered on their journey, regardless of where it takes them.

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Reproductive trauma.

Reproductive trauma therapy is a form of counselling designed to help heal and support individuals who have experienced reproductive trauma like infertility, miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, stillbirth, and invasive fertility treatments. When it comes to reproductive trauma, the primary goal is to process the traumatic event in order to help the client heal and move forward. To achieve this, therapists create a non-judgemental and safe space for clients to explore the traumatic experience and their feelings. They do this through an individualized approach tailored to the person's needs. This can include guided discussion, journaling, behavioural techniques, and other therapeutic methods like EMDR or narrative therapy.Although it is a difficult process, reproductive trauma counselling can be very beneficial. It can help a person process the experience and develop a sense of resilience or acceptance. It can also provide emotional validation, which is essential for anyone who has experienced a traumatic event. By acknowledging and validating the person's feelings, the therapist can help them understand and process the experience. Moreover, a therapist can help people navigate their grief and loss, develop constructive coping skills, and gain greater insight and understanding of their experience. It can also be a source of support, allowing individuals to express and process the trauma with another person or in a group.Overall, counselling for reproductive trauma can help individuals and families impacted by this often unexpected life event. With the help of a trained therapist, those affected can move forward with acceptance and resilience.

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Counselling for anxiety.

Are you feeling overwhelmed by anxiety? Do you feel like no matter how hard you try, you cannot seem to gain control? Have you tried to deal with this alone or with self-help books but not found relief?
If so, we can help.Our practice offers the most effective forms of treatment to help you find relief from anxiety. Research has shown that therapy is the most effective treatment of anxiety disorders. This is because anxiety therapy goes beyond just treating the symptoms of the problem. Common symptoms of anxiety include:

Therapy can help you to uncover the root causes of your worries and fears, learn how to relax, look at situations in a new light, and develop better coping mechanisms and problem-solving skills. If you are struggling with anxiety, contact us today for a free consultation.

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prioritize your mental health

Our resources.

Browse through our articles to learn more about how you can practically improve your mental health.

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The benefits of online therapy.

The COVID-19 pandemic has changed our lives in innumerable ways. But, as stressful as this lockdown has been for most of us, we have learned much about ourselves as individuals and as a nation.Another silver lining that has emerged from this crisis is a new awareness and embracing of treatment tools that have been available for some time. Telehealth (or telemedicine) and online therapy have been around for decades but are now experiencing a surge in popularity because of the mandatory quarantine.Since life has returned to normal, will these virtual tools fall by the wayside? It’s doubtful because they simply offer too many benefits to patients and providers.Here are some benefits of online therapy and why you may want to start making the switch:Better Access to Care
In some rural areas of the country, it’s not easy to find qualified mental health therapists. Online therapy would provide access to care to anyone that needs it, regardless of where they live.Better Integration
Online therapy would allow for the integration of behavioral health care and primary care. This will ultimately lead to better outcomes for the patient.Privacy
Despite the progress we’ve made over the last couple of decades, there is still a stigma attached to mental health treatments. This stops many people from seeking the help they need. Online therapy means an individual can receive help from the comfort of their home without anyone knowing.Convenience
How often do patients cancel appointments or show up late because of other family and/or work responsibilities or traffic jams? Access to online therapy would reduce many of these scenarios.Safety
We are currently seeing a situation where it isn’t safe to be around other people. And yet, should a person lose access to mental health care because of illness and disease? Certainly not.What about unsafe weather? In many parts of the country, there are snowstorms, icy roads, and hurricanes that make it impossible to travel safely.Online therapy allows people to receive the help they need, regardless of any unsafe conditions.Access for Disabled Populations
Oftentimes the people who need therapy the most are the very people who find it difficult to leave their homes or navigate the outside world. Online therapy allows bedridden patients and those with debilitating chronic illnesses access to the help they need.We offer online therapy to patients because we want to help as many people as we can as safely as we can. If you’d like to explore this style of treatment, please get in touch with us.SOURCES:https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/millennial-media/201901/14-benefits-teletherapy-clientshttps://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/what-is-telepsychiatry

https://psychcentral.com/blog/is-now-a-good-time-to-try-telehealth-or-online-therapy/

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How Counseling Can Help With Big Life Changes

They say there are only two things in life you can count on: death and taxes. I would add a third: changes. Every person goes through changes in life. And some of those changes can be significant.Whether you are graduating, starting a new job, moving to a new city, or ending a relationship, you may find dealing with change to be stressful. But there is good news. Counseling can absolutely help you navigate these big life changes so you can make the absolute best decision for you.Here are some ways counseling can help with big life changes:Managing ExpectationsThere’s the change itself, and then there’s what we expect life to be during and after the change. Often we can feel stress when reality does not align with our expectations of reality. Counseling can help you manage your expectations so that the transition is peaceful and realistic.A Positive FrameworkChange means one door closes as another one opens. But many people put all of their focus and attention on that closing door. Focusing on an ending can make us feel depressed and anxious.A counselor can help you focus on the new opportunities ahead of you. This can improve your state of mind, which will ultimately help you make the most of the current situation.Self-CareFor many of us, change means burning the candle at both ends and not taking care of ourselves. Counseling can remind us (as many times as needed) that we need to make our physical and mental health a priority during this transition.Now that you see some of the ways counseling can help you through the biggest changes in your life, it’s time to find a counselor who can help you find insight and fresh perspective. If you’d like to explore counseling further, please reach out to me. I’d be more than happy to answer any questions you may have.SOURCES:https://onlinedegrees.bradley.edu/blog/six-ways-counselors-can-help-clients-dealing-with-major-change/http://creativeresolutionsinc.com/2021/07/20/how-counseling-can-help-you-through-life-changes/https://bestdaypsych.com/adjusting-to-big-life-changes/

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3 Ways Teens Can Benefit from Therapy

Not many of us remember our teenage years as walks in the park. That’s because this time in our life is punctuated by uncertainties, social pressure, and a surge of hormones. Because of this perfect storm, many teens act out, which can cause a lot of chaos and disruption in the home and family.Here are 3 reasons why teens can benefit from therapy:Self-Worth Issues
Most teens have a certain level of self-worth issues growing through this awkward phase. But there are those teens that really suffer from low self-esteem. Therapy can help adolescence build their self-esteem.Stress
Dealing with school, friendships, work, choosing a college… are all major stressors in a young person’s life. And many teens find it hard to speak with their parents. Therapy offers teens a way to communicate and let go of some steam and pressure that is building up.Grief and Loss
There should be a rule that no young person should suffer the loss of a close friend or family member. Sadly, many teens do experience loss and the grief that accompanies it. This can be incredibly difficult for the teen and their parents to navigate. A therapist has been trained to know exactly how to guide a young person through the stages of grief.Anxiety Disorders
It’s perfectly normal for teens to feel worried and anxious at times. But some teens experience such severe anxiety, it negatively impacts their life, schoolwork and relationships. Therapy can help teens learn to manage their symptoms.Substance Abuse Issues
Unfortunately, many teens learn to cope with the intensity of life by using drugs and alcohol. A therapist can assess a teen’s substance use and determine the best course of action.These are just some of the benefits teens can gain from working with a therapist. If you or a loved one would like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me.SOURCES:https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/features/therapy-for-teenshttps://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/health-matters/201006/the-teenagers-brainhttps://www.verywellmind.com/top-reasons-teens-go-to-therapy-2609138

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The Truth About Perfectionism

We live in a society that values things that appear perfect. And we suppose there are things that can be perfect. Architects can draw the perfect straight line, mathematicians can solve an equation with a perfect calculation, and a chocolate cake can be perfectly moist.But as human beings, we can never reach a state of perfection because we will always be a work in progress. Perfection indicates a finality – a finished product – but we as humans are always growing and changing.What is Perfectionism?
Many people view perfectionism as a positive attribute. They believe the more “perfect” they are, the more success they will have in life.Perfectionism is NOT the same thing as always doing your best. It is important that we always do our best. By doing so, we can experience healthy achievements and growth. But perfectionism takes this concept to the extreme.People with perfectionist tendencies often have self-defeating thoughts and/or behaviors that actually make it HARDER to achieve their goals. Perfectionism also can make the individual feel stress, anxiety, and depression.Signs to Look For
Most human beings, from time to time, will strive for perfectionism in some aspect of their life. As an example, that “perfectly moist chocolate cake” I mentioned earlier got that way because the person who baked it was trying to get everything JUST RIGHT as a gift for someone’s birthday.But there are those people who are “full-time” perfectionists. They strive for perfection in all aspects of their life.Here are some signs you may be a perfectionist:

Getting Help
Again, perfectionism is not the same thing as doing your best. It is a condition whereby the individual is almost incapable of feeling joy or pride at what they accomplish because in their own minds, they are never quite good enough.If you believe you may have traits of perfectionism and it is causing you stress, there are things you can do to change your behaviour so you can live a healthier and happier life.If you’d like to explore treatment options, please reach out to us.SOURCES:https://cogbtherapy.com/cbt-blog/2014/7/9/stop-perfectionism-be-happy-with-good-enoughhttps://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/perfectionism/overcomehttps://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/perfectionism

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Effective Treatments for Various Addictions

People of all ages, backgrounds, and races can become addicted to a variety of substances and experiences. From drugs and alcohol to porn and gambling, addiction is a real problem for a significant portion of the population.Just as their personal stories are unique, so, too, should be the treatment programs available to addicts seeking help. The following are some of the most common and effective addiction treatments available today:Detox
Many drug addicts are advised to begin their treatment program with a medically-assisted detox that allows their bodies to rid themselves of the addictive substances. This can help diminish the withdrawal symptoms that often cause an addict to begin abusing again.Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
CBT is a very effective tool that can be used to treat a variety of addictions from alcohol addiction to drugs to food addiction and more. CBT helps a person identify her unhealthy behaviour patterns and also her triggers. She can then learn coping skills that will help her navigate life and its challenges moving forward. CBT can be combined with other therapies as well.Medication
When combined with other therapies, medication can play an integral role in an addict’s recovery. Certain medications can help to reduce cravings, improve mood, and decrease addictive behaviours.Contingency Management (CM)
CM has been found to be very effective in treating several types of addictions including alcohol, opioids, and stimulants. This treatment protocol relies on providing material rewards as motivation for installing desirable behaviours, such as maintaining sobriety. CM has been found to help beat relapse.Motivational Interviewing (MI)
MI is a form of addiction therapy that helps an individual to resolve any ambivalence they may have. This allows them to embrace their treatment and see it as a positive thing instead of as a punishment.12-Step Facilitation
A 12-step program has been shown over decades now to be wildly successful in helping addicts stay sober. Weekly meetings are typically hosted by varying 12-step fellowships such as Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous.The best treatment plan is one that is created with YOU in mind. If you would like to work with a counsellor who will create a treatment plan based on your history and goals, please reach out to us.RESOURCES:https://www.webmd.com/connect-to-care/addiction-treatment-recovery/successful-treatments-for-addictionhttps://americanaddictioncenters.org/therapy-treatmenthttps://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/323468

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The Power of Vulnerability

We live in a society that rewards those with courage and valour. We are taught from a young age that it’s good to face our fears, for doing so is often the catalyst for powerful and lasting change.And yet, how many of us allow ourselves to be vulnerable?Think of the amount of courage it takes to allow yourself to be in a position where your heart might get broken. To say “I love you” first. How much courage does it take to put yourself out there and make new friends? Go for that promotion? Rely on others instead of only ourselves?The Benefits of Vulnerability
We know the obvious benefits of courage. Wars are won, bad guys are put in jail, people are saved from burning buildings. But how can we benefit from being vulnerable?More Intimacy
Opening up to another human being and sharing your deepest emotions is what ultimately builds healthy and lasting relationships. When we expose our authentic selves, we set ourselves up for potential heartache, yes, but also for ultimate connection.Better Self-Worth
Being vulnerable also allows us to accept ourselves as we are, flaws and all. This helps us to STOP comparing ourselves to others and experience a tremendous boost in our self-esteem and self-worth.It Begets Compassion
Getting comfortable with our own vulnerability means we can also be comfortable with others’. And this means, in those times when the people in our lives show their vulnerability to us, we can respond with compassion.Start the Journey
As they say, every journey starts with a single step. Your journey toward embracing your own vulnerabilities will also start with a single step. This may mean spending more quiet time alone. It may mean the next time a good friend asks, “How are you?” you tell them the truth.It may also mean digging deep and uncovering some old wounds and darkness that you have been ignoring. And for this part of the journey, you may want to consider seeking guidance from a trained therapist who can offer tools and advice.If you’d like some assistance on your journey, please get in touch with us. We’d be more than happy to discuss how we may be able to help.RESOURCES:https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evolution-the-self/200810/the-power-be-vulnerable-part-1-3https://intentioninspired.com/6-powerful-benefits-of-vulnerability-and-shame/https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evolution-the-self/201801/how-vulnerable-should-you-let-yourself-be

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How to Help a Loved One After a Miscarriage

News of pregnancy always comes with mixed emotions. For most couples, there is immediate joy, but that joy is also usually mixed with a bit of worry. And this worry isn’t for nothing as, sadly, one in four pregnancies will end in miscarriage.While miscarriages are all-too-common, it doesn’t make dealing with grief and sadness any easier for anyone involved. It can be very difficult for us to know how to respond to a friend or loved one who has recently experienced a miscarriage.As therapists, we have worked with many couples who have experienced pregnancy loss and have learned appropriate ways to interact with them during their time of grief.Understand the Full Picture
The majority of miscarriages happen in the first 12 weeks of pregnancy. This is when the baby is referred to as, medically speaking, an “embryo.” To the grieving parents, this is much more than an end to an embryo, it is the death of a son or daughter whom they have perhaps been trying so hard to have for many years. There are far too many emotions involved in miscarriage and it’s important to always keep a fuller picture in mind.Reassure Her
Many women feel guilty after a miscarriage. They assume they have done something wrong. Science doesn’t really understand why miscarriages happen. A woman may take excellent care of her health and still experience a miscarriage. It’s important to reassure her that she has done nothing wrong. It’s equally important to let her know that it is okay to grieve.Remember the Partner
Mothers-to-be, for obvious reasons, get all of the attention after a miscarriage. But the partners of these women are hurting as well. Not only have they been hit with the initial loss, but they must also summon extra strength and keep things together while their partner grieves.If you or a loved one has suffered a miscarriage and would like to speak to someone about your loss and to work through the grieving process, please reach out to us. We would be more than happy to discuss how we may help.SOURCES:https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-friendship-doctor/201007/comforting-friend-who-has-had-miscarriagehttps://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-brink-being/201908/what-say-someone-after-miscarriagehttps://www.miscarriagesupport.org.nz/helping-someone-after-a-miscarriage/

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What is Disordered Eating & How Can Therapy Help?

Disordered eating, also referred to as “eating disorders,” is a behavioral condition that is characterized by disturbances in eating behaviors. These behaviors are usually associated with distressing thoughts and emotional patterns.Disordered eating can be a very serious condition that affects someone’s physical and psychological functioning and well-being. The most common forms of disordered eating include:

What Causes Disordered Eating to Develop?It is believed that roughly 5% of the population is affected by disordered eating. The conditions typically develop in adolescence and young adulthood. Once developed, people can show similar behaviours like those seen in drug and alcohol addicts.There are different reasons why someone may develop disordered eating. Until very recently, Western cultures have glorified thinness. You could never pick up a magazine or see a television program without body-shaming messaging. While we are now seeing a definite push for acknowledging and respecting all shapes and sizes, many young people still feel the pressure of having the “perfect” body. And this feeds into someone’s lack of self-worth.Many young people feel the need to please others, namely their parents. Achieving perfection is in every facet of their life, including their looks, they believe, will make the adults in their life happy with them.And finally, many adolescents living in a dysfunctional setting, either because of parental addiction or anger issues, feel they have no control over their life. Disordered eating gives these young people a sense of control because they are controlling what and how much food they consume and/or how much they exercise.Treatment OptionsIf you or a loved one are suffering from disordered eating, please know treatment is available. Talk therapy is one of the most common and effective treatments for disordered eating. A therapist can provide you or your loved one with the tools and knowledge to uncover why your eating patterns developed and how you can change your behaviours.While change won’t happen overnight, it will happen. And you can discover what life feels like when you are free of the emotional turmoil that causes your issues with food.If you’d like to speak with someone about treatment options, please reach out to us.SOURCES:https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/eating-disorders/what-are-eating-disordershttps://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/eating-disorders

https://psychcentral.com/eating-disorders/eating-disorders-treatment

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When is it Time to Ask for Help?

Depression is a complex mental health issue that varies widely between individuals. This is why it can be difficult for some people to recognize what may be a situational discomfort that may pass on its own, and what may be more serious and require professional help.The Difference Between Mild and Serious Mental Health IssuesIn order to measure the seriousness of a mental health issue, most mental health professionals look at what impact it has on the person’s everyday life. They also take into account the events that led to the issue.Mild mental health issues are typically less persistent as well as less disruptive to an individual’s everyday life. Serious mental health issues, on the other hand, are often so severe that they negatively impact that person's relationships and performance at school and work.As an example, feeling pressure at work about an upcoming deadline will make just about anyone feel stressed and anxious. But if your anxiety becomes so great that you begin calling in sick to work to avoid the project and responsibilities, that would be seen as a disruption in your everyday life. Severe anxiety can lead to panic attacks and that is definitely a reason to seek support.Something else to keep in mind is the context around the mental health issue. It is perfectly normal to grieve after losing a loved one or to feel anger and resentment after discovering your partner’s infidelity. While it can definitely be helpful to speak with someone during these times, you may not necessarily be experiencing a severe mental health crisis that would warrant help.
It is important to mention that the events of one’s life need not be “serious” in order for you to reach out for help. Whatever it is that you are going through and whatever feelings you are experiencing, they are valid.Warning Signs of a Serious Mental Health CrisisThe following are some red flags of a mental health crisis that warrant asking for help:

If you or a loved one are experiencing any of these symptoms, it’s time to reach out and ask for help. While the days seem dark right now, they can and will get brighter. I’d love to help you get there, so please get in touch with us so we can set up a time to speak.SOURCES:https://www.counseling.org/news/aca-blogs/aca-counseling-corner/aca-counseling-corner-blog/2018/03/01/knowing-when-to-ask-for-help#:~:text=If%20you're%20facing%20a,to%20seek%20out%20professional%20helphttps://jedfoundation.org/resource/mental-health-warning-signs-and-when-to-ask-for-help/https://www.columbiatribune.com/story/sponsor-story/burrell-behavioral-health/2022/05/02/mental-health-matters-knowing-when-ask-help/9558636002/

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What is the Gottman Method?

When we fall in love with our spouses or partners, we never imagine that someday the honeymoon phase might end. We want to believe those Hollywood romantic comedies that make us believe we will “live happily ever after.”The truth is, all couples have their fair share of ups and downs. That’s natural. Healthy relationships require a lot of work. But sometimes it can be difficult to do this work when communication has completely broken down and when there is a blatant lack of respect. Enter the Gottman Method.What Exactly is the Gottman Method?Simply put, the goal of the Gottman Method, created by husband and wife therapists, Drs. John and Julie Gottman, improve communication and ultimately increases trust, respect, and intimacy. This specific approach to couples counselling integrates research-based interventions and includes a thorough assessment of the couple’s relationship. This assessment is what allows counsellors like us to develop a personalized therapeutic framework to bring about lasting change.What Can You Expect?The assessment will show us what your relational strengths and challenges are. From there, we design a special counselling framework that will help you replace negative relationship patterns with positive ones. The work we do together will help you both increase your intimacy and deepen your emotional connection.Is the Gottman Method Right for You?The Gottman Method has been successful for couples who are dealing with the following:

If you and your partner have become aware of some big challenges in the relationship, and you’d like some guidance in overcoming those challenges, then please reach out to us.SOURCES:https://www.gottman.com/about/the-gottman-method/https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/the-gottman-methodhttps://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/types/gottman-method

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How to Recover from Infidelity

There is probably one statement we have heard more than any other, and that is, “I just don’t think I will ever get over this.” This statement is often said by clients who have recently learned their spouse has had an affair. The second most common phrase we hear is, “I just don’t think I can ever trust them again.”The initial shock of infidelity cuts deep. Knowing your partner has broken your trust in such a profound way can completely turn your world upside down.Whether or not a couple can recover from infidelity depends on the two individuals and the bond they have already built. It also depends on the exact circumstances of the affair. Was it a drunken one-night stand on a business trip or an affair that lasted for years? Were love and intimacy involved, or was it merely a physical occurrence?What we can tell you is that for those couples who want to try and stay together, it will take work on both of their parts. But healing can happen.The Recovery ProcessRecovery must begin with an absolute ending to the affair. All ties must be cut before the work can begin. Should the affair continue behind the scenes, in my experience, the relationship is very unlikely to succeed.The second step to recovery is for the deceiver to be able to move past defensiveness and guilt so they make talk openly and transparently about what happened. This is a time when the “guilty” party will have to be humble, acknowledge their wrongdoings, and answer their partner’s questions.Next, there must be a shared understanding of what led to the affair in the first place. Were there issues in the marriage that led to the affair? If so, these will need to be tackled.In order for the deceived spouse or partner to be able to begin healing, they will need to feel genuine compassion from their partner for having caused them pain. There is typically a knee-jerk reaction to not wanting to accept the cheater’s apologies or compassion. This can be seen as a way to “get back.” But understand that doing so only holds you back from healing.The person that was deceived will also need to explore all of their feelings surrounding the betrayal. Usually shock, rage, fear, sadness, and distrust are the main emotions a person will need to work through.At a certain point, you both will need to decide whether you will stay together. If you choose to, you will need to work on rebuilding that trust.As you can see, the process of recovery is a complex one and will require that you work with a marriage counsellor to help you navigate the strong emotions involved. But, through commitment and work, many couples can stay together and even have a stronger bond than they did before.If you would like to seek counselling for infidelity, please get in touch with us. We’d be more than happy to discuss how we may be able to help.SOURCES:https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sex-sociability/202001/recovering-infidelityhttps://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/resolution-not-conflict/201111/recovery-affair-what-both-spouses-need-healhttps://www.marriage.com/advice/infidelity/how-to-recover-from-infidelity/

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Supporting Friends and Family Who May Be in a Domestic Abuse Situation

When our loved ones are struggling and in pain, it can be very difficult to know what to do to help them. Seeing friends and family in an abusive relationship can be particularly challenging. We just “want to shake them” and have them see what we see and follow our advice. But coming on too strong with our opinions and advice can backfire on us, causing our loved ones to stop confiding in us.Here are some ways you can support your loved one who may be in a domestic abuse situation:Listen Without JudgementVictims of abusive relationships have to navigate a lot of feelings and confusion. Many still feel love for their abuser, and that can be hard for us to understand. Though they know they must end things, they can still feel sad and lonely, and again, we may simply not understand. Just listen without judgment.Reassure ThemYour loved one needs to be reassured that the abuse was not their fault. They also need to know that they are not alone and that they have a support network of people who love and care about them very much.Encourage Professional GuidanceYour loved one will greatly benefit from talking to someone who can guide them through their complex emotions. Look for a local domestic violence agency that offers counselling and support groups. Offer to go with them if it will help them take that first step.We can help domestic abuse survivors navigate their trauma and find themselves again. If you’d like to talk to one of us, we’d be more than happy to discuss how we can help.SOURCES:https://www.joyfulheartfoundation.org/learn/domestic-violence/resources/resources-family-friends-and-supportershttps://www.rainn.org/news/how-support-someone-who-experiencing-domestic-violencehttps://www.thehotline.org/support-others/ways-to-support-a-domestic-violence-survivor/

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How to Feel Less Stress as a Parent when the Kids Go Back to School

Starting a new school year can be really exciting. It can also be stressful, both for the child and the parents. The following are some ways you can ease back into a new school year but leave the stress behind!Meet the New TeacherOne of the biggest fears many young children have is whether they like and feel comfortable with their new teacher. To address this fear, be sure to take advantage of the school’s open house so your child can see exactly where their new classroom is and whom their teacher will be.Find a Familiar Face or TwoHaving a familiar, friendly face in the classroom will help put your child at ease. Consider calling parents from last year’s class to find out which kids may be in your child’s class this year. You can help your child reconnect by scheduling a play date before the new year begins.Get on a ScheduleChildren thrive with a solid routine. They also tend to feel less stress when they know their day’s schedule ahead of time. Consider getting some dry-erase boards and colourful dry-erase markers to write down the following day’s schedule each night. Knowing which classes and after-school activities they have will help your child prepare mentally, and you prepare logistically.Limit Those Extra Curricular ActivitiesA lot of school-year stress, both for kids and parents, has to do with the number of extra-curricular activities children are involved with these days. When selecting a sport, be sure that there aren’t too many practices each week that will hinder your child’s schoolwork and sleep routine.Consider following these guidelines so you and your child can have a productive and stress-free school year!SOURCES:https://stressfreekids.com/24727/stress-back-to-school/https://www.verywellfamily.com/tips-to-ease-back-to-school-anxiety-620832https://www.pbs.org/parents/thrive/back-to-school-tips-for-parents

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Keeping the Spark Alive: Simple Romantic Things Long-Time Couples Can Do

When you build a fire, whether to warm your home or to add a bit of ambience on a cold, winter’s night, you know you’ve got to tend to the fire to keep it going. Relationships are no different. They, too, begin with that initial spark, but you both have to tend to the relationship to keep the heat!In our modern age, too many couples are ready to throw in the towel as soon as things begin to cool off slightly. Love takes work, that’s the reality. I’ve known and worked with many couples who have been together for decades and I’ve learned some of the key things that have helped them stay together for so long.Give Each Other Your Full AttentionOne of the greatest gifts of love you can give someone is your attention. Especially in this day and age, when it seems everyone has their head down, staring at their phone.When you first fell in love, the other person was the centre of your world. Has that changed over time? Do you take each other for granted?Whether it’s to share a silly story or seek advice, always be sure to give each other your full attention. Tune into them and engage. Ask questions and be with them in the moment.Learn TogetherWhen the relationship begins to feel stale and old, it’s time to learn something new together. This could be taking a Salsa class or learning how to white water raft. The wonderful thing is while you are learning a new skill together, you will most likely learn new things about each other. We get to a point in our relationship when we think we know everything about the other person. But people are deep, mysterious wells that take years and years to explore!Plan SurprisesTake turns planning something fun and spontaneous for you to do each month. It could be borrowing your friend’s rooftop condo for a summer picnic with stunning views of downtown. Or it could be taking a weekend cooking class or going on an overnight trip up into the mountains. Being spontaneous not only helps you break out of your relationship rut, it forces you to really think of the other person and what might make them happy.Love is not something you fall in and out of; it is a journey that both of you are on together. To stay the course, be sure to give each other your full attention, learn together, and be spontaneous!SOURCES:https://www.tonyrobbins.com/love-relationships/keeping-the-spark-alive/https://www.insider.com/how-to-keep-the-spark-in-your-relationship-2017-7https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindful-relationships/202010/keeping-the-spark-alive-in-your-relationship

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How to Tell if Therapy is Right for You

When it comes to your physical health, it’s pretty easy to know whether or not you need to see a doctor. If you catch a cold, there’s really no need to make an appointment; however, if you break your ankle, you need to immediately get to an emergency room. But when it comes to your mental and emotional health, knowing if you need therapy isn't as easy to recognize.Here are some ways you can tell if therapy is right for you:AnxietyIt’s common to feel anxious from time to time, but if you’ve noticed your anxiety levels have increased and are interfering with your ability to do normal activities like work, household chores, and sleep, it may benefit you to talk to a mental health professional.Trauma or AbuseTrauma and abuse can leave lasting scars that, if left untreated, can negatively impact every aspect of your life, from your relationships to your ability to experience joy and happiness. Coming to terms with your experience by speaking with an empathetic and specially-trained therapist can help you to heal.AddictionsAddiction can destroy lives and families. Recognizing you have an addiction is often the hardest part. If you feel that a loved one is suffering from an addiction, whether it’s substance abuse, gambling, or sex addiction, a professional can help. Often it is a loved one of the individual suffering from addiction that will approach a mental health professional first.Marriage ProblemsIf you find yourself unable to communicate with your spouse and are wondering if divorce is the only answer, seeking couples counselling could help get the relationship back on track.Obsessive or Compulsive BehavioursLife can become unbearable when dealing with obsessive or compulsive disorders. If you find yourself consumed by compulsive thoughts and behaviours that are negatively impacting your relationships in life, seeking therapy can be an important first step to gaining control over your thoughts and behaviours.Difficult Life TransitionsDifficulties such as the loss of a job, a divorce or a loved one can make a once-peaceful life seem chaotic and unbearable. The emotions that go along with these challenging life transitions can be too much for many people to handle alone. Speaking with a therapist can be an effective way to work through your emotions and grief.Although it can feel frightening and overwhelming to take that first step and reach out to a therapist, learning to manage your emotions and behaviour is an investment in yourself that can improve your quality of life in dramatic ways. If you or a loved one is interested in exploring treatment, please contact us today. I would be happy to speak with you about how we can help.

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5 Strategies to Calm Your Anxiety Quickly

When you live with an anxiety disorder, any moment can become one that creates a slow-rising panic within you. Life is normal one second and the next you feel your chest tighten and your heart begin to race. You may begin to hyperfocus on future events and find yourself getting lost in “what-ifs.”To make matters worse, you may then begin to berate yourself for allowing the panic to get the best of you and begin to believe that all of those what-ifs are indisputable facts.Luckily there are many powerful tools and techniques you can use to manage your anxiety effectively.Breathe Deeply
The minute you feel a panic attack coming on, the first thing to do is stop and gain control of your breath. Deep, slow breathing sends a signal to our brains that everything is safe in our environment. Controlled breathing is one of the most powerful ways to activate your body’s relaxation response. It will take your mind and body out of “fight or flight” mode and put it instantly into a calm and relaxed state.Accept That You are Anxious
It’s important to always remember that anxiety is “just a feeling.” And like all feelings, it can go as quickly as it came. You are having an emotional reaction to a string of thoughts. Accept your anxiety because trying to pretend it’s not happening will only make matters worse.Let’s be clear - by accepting your anxiety, you are not resigning yourself to a life of eternal misery. You are not throwing in the towel and trying to suddenly like your anxiety. Nope. You are simply living a more mindful existence, being in the moment, and accepting whatever is in that moment with you.Your Emotions Cannot Kill You
One of the most frightening things about a panic attack is the feeling that you are having a heart attack. But you aren’t. Your brain can and will play tricks on you, trying to get you to believe that you are in physical danger. But the truth is, you are not in physical danger. You are having an episode based on emotions, and it will pass. Remind yourself of that as many times as you need to.Question Your Thoughts
When your panic attack begins, your mind begins to throw all sorts of outlandish ideas at you, hoping some of them stick. These thoughts are intended to keep the panic attack going.Before you take any of these thoughts as reality and truth, question them. For instance, if your mind throws things out like, “No one here likes me. I am for sure going to screw this up. I probably left the stove on. And I’ll no doubt get stuck in bad traffic on the way home and maybe even get a flat, so I will then be stranded, and on and on and on…”Questions these ideas. Are you TRULY not liked by everyone around you? Most likely not. Are you really going to screw up? Probably not. Traffic? Well, maybe, but a flat tire? Chances are no.Always evaluate your thoughts. You will usually find the majority aren’t very realistic or probable.Visualize
Picture somewhere serene that brings you peace and calm. Maybe this is your grandparents’ old house or a lake you’ve visited before. Maybe it’s that fantastic beachfront condo from your last vacation. Just picture it in your mind’s eye and really put yourself there. See it, smell it, feel it. Feel how calm it feels to be in this space that is perfectly comforting and safe.Use these techniques the next time you experience an anxiety attack. They should help you feel much calmer much sooner.If you would like to explore treatment options for your anxiety, please get in touch with us. I would be more than happy to discuss how we may be able to help.SOURCES:https://psychcentral.com/lib/9-ways-to-reduce-anxiety-right-here-right-now/https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-empaths-survival-guide/201810/self-soothing-strategies-8-ways-calm-anxiety-and-stresshttps://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/prescriptions-life/201709/7-ways-calm-your-worried-mind-and-reduce-anxiety

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Teaching Kids Mindfulness: The Benefits and Easiest Ways to Do It

“Pay attention!”It’s a phrase that is uttered dozens of times a week (if not more) in households where children between the ages of 2 and 18 reside. How is it that when they are playing video games or watching cartoons, kids can have a tremendous attention span? But at any other time, getting them to be present is harder than getting them to close the refrigerator door!While getting kids to pay attention can seem frustrating, there is an answer to the madness: mindfulness.Mindful Kids are Happier Kids
Several studies have shown that kids who participate in mindfulness programs are happier. And the sooner you get kids started with mindfulness, the easier it becomes for them to develop a capacity to become calm and centered when life throws them stressful situations.What does this look like in real life?
Picture how a normal 7-year-old responds to a situation that is scary, overwhelming, and generally unpleasant. Say they are getting ready to take a hard test or going to the dentist. Most will become so fearful and anxious that they have a hard time being calmed by a parent or other guardian.The 7-year-old who practices mindfulness meditation knows to stop, close their eyes, and breathe deeply to get themselves calm and focused.The two outcomes are vastly different. That’s because meditation and deep breathing exercises actually change the physiology of the brain, according to scientists. Instead of kids reacting emotionally to a charged situation (being controlled by their emotions), children can control their impulses and reactions to that situation.But how do you get kids to practice mindfulness when it’s difficult to get them to do pretty much anything, let alone meditate! Here are some ways you can help your kids become more mindful:1. Help them discover their inner experience.
Spend time helping kids understand what is happening to their bodies during stressful and calm situations. Ask them to explore their emotions. The more insight they have into their inner experience, the better able they will be to control their responses to external experiences.2. Breathe with them
Practice deep breathing with your child. You can do it while driving or before putting them to bed at night. Share with them how to relax, slowly breathe in deeply and exhale. Invite them to feel any tension melt away.3. Be a good example
Your child will not even want to try and be mindful and in control when they see you out of control. Are you one to yell at other drivers? Do you get far too angry when your dog tracks mud in the house? Does a telemarketer at dinner send you through the roof? If so, it’s time to try deep breathing and meditation yourself. Be an example. If your child sees mommy or daddy handling stress in healthier ways, they will be far more likely to give it a go.While it will take some effort to get your kid to commit to practicing mindfulness, the results that it will bring to their life are completely worth it.SOURCES:https://psychcentral.com/blog/mindfulness-for-children/https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/creative-development/202001/mindfulness-in-childrenhttps://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/breathe-mama-breathe/201605/12-simple-ways-teach-mindfulness-kids

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The Importance of Gut Health

You often hear about the importance of supporting your immune system. But did you know that 80% of your immune system is actually located in your gastrointestinal tract – AKA your “gut”? That’s why it’s so incredibly important to make sure you optimize your gut health!Gut Health Relies on a Healthy Microbiome
The real stars of your gut are tiny microorganisms that include protozoa, fungi, bacteria, and other kinds of single-celled organisms. Now, you may see this list and think, “Ew, I don’t want all that stuff inside my guts!” But you actually do. These microorganisms – and there are trillions of them - make up what we call your gut’s ‘microbiome.’Your microbiome is like the Club Med for all of these microorganisms that live harmoniously with one another, helping your body to be as healthy as possible. Or at least, that’s the way nature intended.But sometimes our gut flora can become unbalanced and there will suddenly be a proliferation of harmful bacteria. You see, you want helpful (probiotic) bacteria in your gut. But when the bad guys move in, problems arise.So, how does your microbiome become unbalanced? Mostly through poor lifestyle choices like eating too many processed foods, drinking sodas, and being stressed out.And, of course, if you’ve ever taken one or more courses of antibiotics, they not only killed off the bad bacteria in your body but also the beneficial bacteria in your gut.So, what can you do to improve your gut health?Clean Up Your Diet
Sugars, both natural and artificial sweeteners, have been found to have a negative impact on your gut flora. So, start by restricting sugar where possible. Also, incorporate fermented foods like Kim Chi and Sauerkraut to replenish the probiotics. And finally, eat plenty of fibre since bacteria love eating it!Lower Your Stress Levels
It’s not always easy to do, but try your best as stress negatively impacts your entire digestive tract. Also, when we’re stressed, we tend to eat the wrong kinds of foods, laden with sugar and trans fats.Exercise
A 2019 study by the Physiological Society showed that exercise may have a positive impact on the diversity, cluster, activity, and presence of gut bacteria.The bottom line is: the more you take care of your gut, the more it will take care of you.SOURCES:
https://health.ucdavis.edu/health-news/newsroom/what-is-gut-health-and-why-is-it-important/2019/07
https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/your-digestive-system-5-ways-to-support-gut-health
https://well.org/healthy-body/gut-health/

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Is Social Media Bad for Your Mental Health?

Have you been feeling a bit low lately, but you can’t quite put your finger on why? It may have something to do with your social media habits. According to a recent study, social media use can increase depression and loneliness.For years, people have suspected that social media use might have an ability to negatively impact our mental well-being. After all, it’s hard not to feel inadequate or jealous when looking at photos of people whose lives seem so much more perfect than ours. But now research is actually making a definitive link between spending time on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter and a sense of loneliness and isolation.It May be Time for a Social Media DetoxSometimes our clients are encouraged to take a social media detox every now and then to gain a more positive sense of reality. They often report that the detox offered some amazing and unexpected benefits such as:Improved Self-Esteem
When you take a break from comparing yourself to other people, you can start to look at how great you and your own life really are.New Interests and Hobbies
When you spend less time trying to get that social approval in the form of ‘likes’, ‘retweets’, and ‘upvotes’, you suddenly find you have a lot of time on your hands for other things.Improved Mood
Trading in online friendships for real face-to-face ones makes us feel more grounded and connected to people. This can drastically improve our mood and sense of well-being.Better Sleep
Many people are on their phone in bed, checking their social media accounts. The blue light from these devices disrupts our sleep pattern. When we put these devices away, we inevitably sleep better.Able to Enjoy the Moment More
Daily mindfulness is critically important. By being present in our lives, we feel an increased sense of peace and joy. That’s priceless.So how do you perform a social media detox?Follow these 4 steps:
1. Temporarily deactivate your accounts. Don’t worry, you can reactivate them again in the future should you choose.
2. Remove all Social Media Apps and notification pathways from your devices.
3. Use a web filtering tool to block social media sites. (Why tempt yourself?)
4. Be prepared for some withdrawal symptoms and have other activities ready to replace the void.If you follow these steps and take a break from social media, chances are you will find you feel a whole lot better! If you sense that your habits and feelings need further support, we would love to help you.

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What is Neurodiversity?

Neurodiversity is a concept given life back in the 1990s by an Australian sociologist named Judy Singer. The term is used to represent the different ways people think, behave, communicate, and more.Neurodiversity is often associated with challenges an individual may face. For instance, people with neurodiverse traits may be diagnosed with conditions such as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHA), dyslexia, or autism.BUT THE CONCEPT TURNS THE TRADITIONAL DIAGNOSES ON THEIR HEADS.Instead of thinking something is “wrong” with the person, the new science is suggesting that within the human genome, there is a diversity we’ve yet to grasp fully. Conditions aren’t necessarily faults in the brain but rather unique expressions.Neurodiversity and Mental Health
Extensive data points to the fact that there are greater rates of depression and anxiety co-occurring in individuals with diagnoses of autism, ADHD, and dyspraxia. Autism alone has been linked to higher rates of anxiety, eating disorders, mood disorders, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and more. Much of this may stem from the fact that individuals with autism have typically been found to have low levels of dopamine, a “feel good” neurotransmitter greatly responsible for elevated moods.But what about those individuals whose levels of dopamine are in the normal range? And for that matter, what about depression and anxiety in people who have not been diagnosed with any other cognitive condition?For years, psychologists, psychiatrists, and neurologists have tried to understand the profound links between body, brain, and life experiences. What we have learned is that narrow diagnostic categorization doesn’t allow us to recognize all of the diverse ways cognitive conditions express themselves in the human race.NEURODIVERSITY HELPS SOLVE THIS.It embraces the complexity of the interconnectedness of the brain, body and life to help us get better patient outcomes. As clinicians, we need to move away from crude labeling and diagnoses and begin to focus on personalized interventions and treatment plans to better serve our clients.SOURCES:https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/my-life-aspergers/201310/what-is-neurodiversity
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/pathways-progress/202108/is-there-link-between-neurodiversity-and-mental-healthhttps://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/neurodiverse-age/201907/mental-disorder-within-the-neurodiversity-paradigmhttps://neurodiversityassociation.com/what-is-neurodiversity/

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How to Prevent Burnout

Not many people get through life without experiencing burnout at some point. Whether it’s from working more than one job, taking care of a sick loved one, or juggling family life while going back to school, burnout is real, and it negatively impacts your life and health.Common Signs of Burnout
If you think you may be experiencing burnout but are unsure, here are some of the most common signs:

5 Ways to Prevent BurnoutExerciseYou know exercise is necessary for your physical health, but it is also fantastic for your mental and emotional health as well. Physical activity helps our bodies secrete feel-good hormones, which give our mood a boost. So be sure to commit to exercising at least 3-4 times a week.Get Enough RestIt’s essential to get enough restorative sleep each night. Sleep not only helps our bodies build and repair new tissue, but it helps us be able to feel calm and focus.If you have trouble getting enough ZZZZZs each night, skip caffeinated beverages past 2 pm, ban smartphones and other electronics from the bedroom, and establish a relaxing nighttime ritual like meditation, reading, or taking a bath.Validate Your Feelings“Keep calm and carry on.” That’s a fun saying for a throw pillow, but it’s not always the best advice. Sometimes it’s important to admit that you are struggling and that you need a break.Remember to PlayJust because you’re an adult, that doesn’t mean you don’t need some downtime to just have fun. Whether you want to play a sport, enjoy a hobby, or go to the theater, be sure to make time each week to enjoy yourself and your life.Ask for HelpDuring stressful times, it’s important to reach out to others for help. Sometimes all we need is a friendly ear to listen to what’s on our minds and hearts. Let your friends and family know you could use a little support.If your stress levels don’t seem to go down, you may want to consider working with a counsellor who can help you navigate your feelings and offer coping strategies to deal with the issues you have going on.If you’d like to speak with someone, please reach out to us.SOURCES:https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/pressure-proof/201306/7-strategies-prevent-burnouthttps://www.healthline.com/health/tips-for-identifying-and-preventing-burnout*https://psychcentral.com/blog/6-lesser-known-ways-to-beat-burnout#1

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6 Signs Your Teen May Be Depressed

As teens struggle through the tough transition period of childhood into young adulthood, it can be difficult to decipher a teen’s behaviour. Are their out-of-control emotions and conduct a result of the natural process of adolescence, or is it something more serious?According to the National Institute of Mental Health, in 2016 approximately 3.1 million adolescents between the ages of 12 to 17 experienced at least one episode of major depression. Depression is a serious mood disorder that, if left untreated, can cause serious short and long-term mental and even physical health problems. Moreover, depression carries a high risk of suicide.Below are six signs you can look for to determine if your teen could be experiencing depression.1. Excessive Crying and SadnessWhile emotions tend to run high in most teenagers, excessive crying and sadness that persist for more than two weeks could be a sign of depression.2. Loss of Interest and MotivationWhen a teen is depressed, they may have trouble concentrating. This will cause them to lose motivation and interest in activities they once enjoyed.3. Problems at SchoolThe loss of concentration and motivation could also result in problems at school. Skipping school, plunging grades, and a lack of participation in school and extracurricular activities are all signs that could be pointing to teen depression.4. Changes in Weight or Eating HabitsHas your teen’s eating habits changed? Are they skipping meals or eating larger portions more frequently? Eating more or less, as well as dramatic changes in weight (either gained or lost), is one of the signs of depression.5. WithdrawalDepression causes people to isolate themselves. It’s not uncommon for a depressed teen to begin to withdraw from friends and family, choosing instead to spend time alone or locked in their room. If your teen is depressed, you may notice them begin to avoid spending time with friends and loved ones.6. Suicidal IdeationThoughts or expressions of death or suicide should never be taken lightly. Threats or even jokes about suicide are a cry for help from your teen. If your teen expresses thoughts of suicide, react calmly and then seek immediate help. Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-833-456-4566.If you suspect that your teen is experiencing depression, it’s important that you seek professional help from an experienced mental health professional who specializes in treating teens. Call us today, and let’s set up an appointment to talk.

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5 Important Relationship Questions You Need to Answer

You’ve probably heard this a thousand times, but here it is again: Relationships are tough and require constant work. You and your partner have to be ready to put in the work every single day, and one way to do this is through constant evaluation of your relationship.Here is a list of some important questions to answer both individually and as a couple. These questions will give you a clearer picture of your relationship.1. Do you feel safe in the relationship?
In your relationship, you should be able to really be yourself without fear of being judged. Do you feel like your partner has the capability to stick with you through tough times? Will they be there if you have cancer or depression? If it's difficult for you to answer this question, seeking professional help can provide a safe place to talk about this.2. Are you both happy?
As humans, we rely on our romantic relationships to provide us with some level of happiness. Having bad days is normal, but if your relationship is fraught with anxiety and tension, then there might be a problem. If you find yourself feeling sad or angry more than you feel happy, then you need to do some evaluation. Relationships require work, but they shouldn’t drain you emotionally or affect your mental health.3. Do your plans and visions for the future align?
To strengthen your commitment, you need to agree on your vision and goals for the future. Is your partner ready to show up, do the work every day and accept you fully without harsh criticism? You need to be sure they are in it for the long haul and you’re on the same page about what’s important to you in life.4. Are your arguments healthy?
Arguments are normal, but how you argue matters. Are you able to keep your arguments from getting out of hand and find a way to discuss and reach a solution calmly? You need to argue in a way that makes both parties feel heard. If things get violent often, then you need to rethink things.5. Are you sexually compatible?
Sex is important in any romantic relationship. Are you physically attracted to each other? Do you agree on issues relating to sex, such as when and how it occurs? If one person feels sexually deprived or pressured to do things they aren’t comfortable with, it could lead to conflict. It’s a great idea to create a safe space in your relationship where you can openly talk about your sex life.If you answered yes to most/all of the questions above, then you and your partner are probably in a great place. If not, carefully reflect on the questions and revisit them when you’ve had time to think about them properly.It’s also a great idea to have a third party ask questions that are too tough to ask yourselves. If you’re struggling with these questions and need a therapist to talk to, please book a free consultation with us. We'd be happy to discuss how we are able to help.

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Why Every Man Should See a Therapist

While women are often the ones who seek therapy, making up nearly two-thirds of therapy patients, multiple studies have shown that men benefit more from the process. But men rarely seek therapy because they just don’t like the idea of opening up to a stranger and sharing their feelings.Therapy, then, isn’t a very naturally masculine process. But we want to encourage men to push past their discomfort and seek therapy anyway because it can really help in so many areas of their life.Here are some of the reasons why every man should see a therapist:Men Often Struggle with Their IdentityMany men today struggle with what it means to be a man. Decades ago, the definition was more clearly defined, but nowadays, a man can get completely lost. Should they be masculine, or is masculinity somehow toxic? Should they show their emotions or not? Should they protect women, or is that somehow belittling women?It is entirely confusing for men, and many have had to grow up without a father figure in the home or fathers who were there but emotionally absent. And so, men look to media and advertising to find clues about who they should be, which can be incredibly damaging.Therapy can be a space where men can learn to define themselves on their own terms.Gain Understanding and Tools for Your RelationshipsMen are from Mars, women are from Venus? That’s putting it mildly!In their day-to-day interactions, men tend to live on a logical plane of existence, whereas women live on an emotional one. No one plane of existence is right, and no one is wrong. It is simply how the sexes are wired.But, since men tend to struggle to express their feelings and express themselves in a way their female partner can relate to, the relationship can take a hit, and the two can grow apart.Therapy can help men safely explore their own feelings and learn how to relate to women in a language women understand.Become the Best Version of YouSeeing a therapist doesn’t necessarily mean something is wrong with you. Often, therapy can be a way to explore who you are, what you want, and how to reach your goals. In other words, therapy can be a means by which you become the best version of yourself. If you hit the gym x times per week to get into the best physical shape of your life, why not hit the therapist’s office each week to get into the best mental and emotional shape of your life and be a total package?Get Help for Substance AbuseStudies have shown that men are far more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol as a way to cope with the stress and depression in their lives. Therapy can show you how to cope without the need for these substances.Lower Your Suicide RiskThere has been a disturbing rise in instances of suicide among older men. This is most likely a result of men not believing they have the right to seek help. When you’ve got to be the strong one all the time and fix other people’s problems, seeking outside help is not an option.But it IS an option. Men need to get help with their issues so they don’t turn to suicide.Help with FatherhoodAs mentioned above, many men grew up without proper role models. They then find themselves a father, unable to cope with the challenges and responsibilities. Therapy allows men to discover who they want to be for their children and come up with a game plan to develop this side of themselves.If you are a man struggling with these issues or any others and would like to explore treatment options, please be in touch. We would be more than happy to discuss how we may be able to help.References:https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/men-issues
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-angry-therapist/201701/why-i-think-all-men-need-therapy

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How to Help Children Understand Terrifying Events

As a parent, your job is to make sure your kids grow and develop in a safe and healthy environment. While it’s possible for you to control your immediate environment – your home – it’s simply not possible to ensure the greater world around your child is safe and free from trauma or natural disasters.The latest research points to the utter futility of trying to keep kids shielded from any form of violence. According to Caroline Knorr, parenting editor for Common Sense Media, the online resource for vetting kids media, “Ninety percent of movies, 68% of video games, and 60% of TV shows show some depictions of violence.”What does prolonged exposure to this media violence do to children’s brains and psyches? The research is woefully out of date and incomplete. What we do know is that controlling what kind and how much media our children consume is far easier than shielding them from real-world violence and devastation.No child should have to learn about a school shooting, terrorist attack, or the fact that adults and children were killed in an earthquake somewhere in the world. But protecting them from hard truths is not the answer.The reality is that parents have to talk to kids about reality. Children will hear about terrifying events eventually, and it could scare your child more if you are reluctant to speak with them about it.Here are some ways you can help your child understand terrifying events:Try to Stay CalmChildren not only listen to the words you tell them, they, at the very same time, look for your emotional reaction. From this, they gauge what is actually going on and how they should react. Though it may be difficult, it’s important that you try and remain as calm as possible to reassure your child while, at the same time, letting them know it’s okay for them to feel upset. A delicate balance? You could say that.Determine What Your Child is Really Worried AboutWhen children hear about scary events, they will have many questions, such as, “Did people die? Why would somebody hurt people? Were they bad people? Will I be killed by a bad person? Are we going to war?” Some children will ask many more questions than this, but what they are really trying to determine is if THEY are safe. The answers you give should be truthful but age-appropriate, with a final assurance that your family is safe.Keep Your Daily RoutinesScary stuff is unpredictable stuff. Therefore, your child will be reassured by predictability. Stick to your routines as best you can. Along with talking to your children about the events, make sure they have a sense of regularity in their lives.Seek Professional Help if NecessaryIf your child continues to show signs of stress or agitation, it might be a good idea to talk with a licensed mental health professional who can help your child express their concerns and offer coping strategies.If you or a loved one has been affected by a traumatic event and would like to speak with someone, please be in touch. We would be happy to discuss how we may be able to help.

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Five Ways to Cope with Anxiety as A Parent

The hard work and unpredictability that makes parenting so rewarding can also cause a great deal of anxiety. Here are some simple ways to bring yourself to a place of calm.Make a To-Do ListRuminating on worries can cause lots of stress. Clear your mind by making a to-do list. Put down everything that needs to be done into your phone or onto a sheet of paper, and as you write them down, visualize yourself removing this task from your mind onto the list.Watch Your LanguageMany times, parents believe things will get better when their children move on to the next phase of their maturity. However, the truth is that the worry will continue until you change your pattern of thought. To do this, watch the language you use to describe things. Don’t use phrases such as, “This will be a disaster if I don’t get it done on time” or “I’ll die of embarrassment if I forget.”Also, change thoughts of “I have to” to “I want to.” For example, instead of saying, “I have to sign the kids up for karate,” say, “I want to sign the kids up for karate because I know they’ll love it.”Get Some Fresh AirThere’s nothing like some fresh air and sunlight to ease anxiety. Put your baby in a stroller and go for a walk around the block, to a neighbour’s house, or a local park. Take your kids to an outdoor mall or sit on the patio of a frozen yogurt shop and share a frozen treat. You can also try your local library. Some libraries also have outdoor patio areas where you can read with your kids.Practice Mindfulness ExercisesIf your anxiety is difficult to control, try deep breathing from your belly. While you do this, concentrate on five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell and one thing you can taste. This can help calm you when you’re feeling a panic or anxiety attack start to arise.Use Your Support NetworkCall your friends or family to chat or ask for advice. It may also help to vent with a Facebook parenting group or other online message board. You can also call your therapist, make an appointment, and work through your challenges.Try these tips to control and cope with your anxiety and enjoy the time with your children free from worry.If you find your anxiety to be impacting your ability to be a happy, successful parent, it might be time to speak with a professional who can help. Please contact us today for an initial consultation.

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4 Questions to Ask When Looking for a Family Therapist

Seeking the guidance of a therapist is a wonderful way to work through your family’s communication problems and start the process of healing. But selecting a family therapist can be a daunting task, particularly when you are already struggling with emotional pain or anxiety.To help you with your selection process, here are four questions you should ask when looking for a family therapist.1. Should I Find a Provider that Takes Insurance or Cash Pay?Therapy is as much a financial commitment as it is an emotional one, and not everyone will be able to pay out of pocket for counselling. That’s why it’s important to understand your funding options before you begin therapy and potentially wind up with a bill you can’t pay.There are different advantages to insurance and cash pay.When you pay cash for treatment, you have far more privacy. In fact, the only ones who need to ever know you are in treatment are you and your therapist. Also, when you pay cash, you are not forced to search for an in-network therapist, but rather have more options when it comes to selecting someone who specializes in an area you’re interested in. And, since many therapists like ours offer clients a sliding scale, no one should assume they can’t afford to pay cash.Using insurance to pay for therapy means having less options and privacy, but it is significantly cheaper to get care.2. Do I Know Anyone Who Can Recommend a Good Therapist?Often, some of the greatest connections and therapeutic relationships come from personal recommendations. Before you flip through the Yellow Pages or do a Google search, check with close friends and family to see if they can recommend a therapist in your local area or online. When you know that a close friend or family member feels safe with a specific counsellor, it will help alleviate any anxiety during that first session.3. What Are Our Goals?Every family comes to counselling with their own unique set of hopes and expectations. Knowing your goals before you start therapy will help you and your therapist know what you expect from the entire process. Before you attend that first session, sit down as a family and think about what you hope to gain from your time in therapy.4. Do We Have Any Specific Preferences in a Therapist?Do you have any preferences when it comes to the gender of your therapist? For many, gender doesn’t matter, but for some families, especially those with young children, having a female counsellor over a male, or vice versa, may have a positive influence on the counselling process.Do you want your therapist to specialize in a specific disorder or an addiction?How about their training and background?All of these factors can play a part in the process of choosing the right counsellor for you.If you or a loved one is interested in exploring treatment, please contact us today. We would be happy to speak with you about how we may be able to help.

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Faith and Mental Health – Why Therapy is Still Important

The relationship between faith and mental health is a complex one. Without question, an individual’s personal belief system is a profound way to cope with life’s challenges and adversities.Belief in a higher power is essential to a person’s mental health and overall well-being. But if someone has a strong religious faith or spiritual life, does that mean they can’t also be helped by traditional talk therapy?Why Therapy is so Important in Mental Health RecoveryIn our practice, I often work with people who have a religious faith. We have found there are two issues they tend to share that traditional therapy can benefit.They are Waiting on GodIt is one thing to use our faith to cope with the pain and challenges of life. It is another to use our faith in God as an excuse not to help ourselves and do the work. I have found many clients believe that if they pray hard enough, God will deliver them from their problems.This might be illustrated with an old joke.A hurricane has dropped feet of rainfall on a small town and most of the residents fled the day before when the news reports encouraged them to do so. One man now sits alone on his roof, the water rising.He prays diligently to the Lord to save him.Soon, a man in a boat comes along and tells the man to hop in. The devout man of faith says, “No thanks, God is going to save me.” The man in the boat speeds away.A few minutes later, another man in a boat comes by and tells him to get in. “No thanks, I prayed to God and he is going to save me.”About an hour later a third and final boat comes by, but the man refuses to get in, believing with all his heart that God will save him.The waters rise and the man eventually drowns. When he gets to Heaven he asks God, “God, why did you not save me?”God says, “I sent you THREE boats!!”The moral of the story is, God doesn't always work in the way we expect. We cannot know His exact plans for us, but we can and we should be active participants in our own rescue. As therapists, we can offer coping strategies and different perspectives that help our clients get off their roofs.A Sense of UnworthinessWhen people are struggling with depression and/or addiction issues, they feel completely broken, unworthy of God’s love. They find it difficult to reconnect with God because deep down they don’t believe they deserve his presence in their life.We help our patients build their self-esteem and find their value so they can reconnect with God.If you are hurting and would like to explore treatment options, please reach out to us. We work with people of all faiths and respect your beliefs. We simply want to offer you support and resources to help you on your path back to wholeness and light.SOURCES:https://www.deseret.com/faith/2022/6/10/23160348/defining-the-gap-between-two-taboo-topics-faith-and-mental-health-religion-counselinghttps://www.deseret.com/2012/8/30/20506040/balancing-faith-and-mental-health-both-complex-important-to-well-beinghttps://fherehab.com/learning/connection-spirituality-mental-health

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The Importance of Community for Your Mental Health

Our mental health significantly impacts our quality of life, so it makes sense that we would want to do all we can to improve it. This may include things like eating healthy foods, exercising, and getting enough quality sleep each night.But there is something else that greatly influences our mental health and that is a community and a sense of belonging. Human beings are wired for connection. When we feel connected to others, we feel loved and supported. Friends can often help alleviate the stress in our lives because our friends are there for us to lean on.If you have been feeling alone and isolated, here are some ways you can find your own community and begin to connect with others:Go with What Interests You
What activities and hobbies do you have? You may want to join a book club or take a painting lesson. If you’re athletic or used to playing a sport in school, maybe you could join a local team. You’ll no doubt find it easier to connect with others who enjoy doing the same things you do.VolunteerBeing of service to others is highly rewarding, and volunteering is also a great way to connect with others who share similar values. What causes do you feel passionate about? What charities do you support? Check out their website or give them a call to see what volunteering opportunities they may have available.Connect with Something Bigger Than YourselfDo you have a particular religion or spiritual practice you connect with? Maybe it’s time to get back to your church or try taking that meditation class you’ve been thinking about. Is there a political cause that speaks to your heart? Helping others reach a meaningful goal can be a great way to find purpose in your own life.Humans are not meant to be alone. We need to socialize. If you have been feeling down, now’s the time to go out and make some new connections.And if you’ve been dealing with depression and anxiety for some time and could use someone to talk to, please give us a call.SOURCES:
https://nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/November-2019/The-Importance-of-Community-and-Mental-Health
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-mild-cognitive-impairment/201606/the-health-benefits-socializing
https://dailylife.com/article/7-ways-your-friendships-improve-your-mental-health

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Infertility’s Impact on Women’s Mental Health

Infertility is a condition that refers to an inability to become pregnant or to take a baby to term after one year of trying. This is a heartbreaking reality for many women across the globe. In fact, it is estimated that in the United States alone, roughly 6 million women suffer from infertility, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.What Causes Infertility?Infertility can be caused by a variety of health issues. The most common is Polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), which is a hormonal disorder that negatively impacts ovulation.Other disorders that cause infertility in women are:Uterine fibroids
Endometriosis
Pelvic Inflammatory Disease
Blocked fallopian tubes
Uterus deformities or abnormalitiesAnd finally, one of the primary reasons for infertility is a woman’s age. Nearly one-third of all women over the age of 35 experience fertility issues.Infertility and a Woman’s Mental HealthInfertility is a very stressful issue to deal with, and it can significantly impact a woman’s mental health. Research published by the North Carolina Medical Journal found that common mental health concerns of fertility patients are symptoms of depression and anxiety.Patients frequently report that each month’s cycle becomes a tumultuous storm of emotions ranging from anger, sadness, fear, and guilt. And the more demanding and intrusive the fertility treatment protocols become, the greater the emotions felt.Much focus is given to the physical aspects of not being able to conceive. However it is essential for women to recognize that their mental health may be impacted and to get help.If you or someone you know is suffering from anxiety or depression because of infertility issues, please feel free to reach out to us. We would be happy to discuss treatment options with you.SOURCES:https://womensmentalhealth.org/specialty-clinics/infertility-and-mental-health/https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4009564/https://womensmentalhealth.org/posts/impact-infertility-treatment-mood-women-vulnerable/

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Am I An Extroverted-Introvert?

Are you one of those people who has never quite felt like an introvert but are definitely not an extrovert? Have you read descriptions of either personality and thought, “Mmmm, close, but not quite?” If so, you might be what is called an extroverted introvert (EI).Extroverted introverts, also called “outgoing introverts” or “social introverts” have qualities of both personalities. They are not entirely loners but don’t necessarily enjoy spending time with large groups of people.Most people are, in fact, somewhere in the middle of the extrovert/introvert spectrum, sharing qualities of both introversion and extroversion. Let’s take a look at some of the characteristics of an extroverted introvert.You are Sensitive to Your Surroundings
How you feel can be directly linked to your environment. What kind of music is playing, how many people are there, and the overall noise level can affect you greatly. If you’re an EI, you will either feel energized or drained depending on your surroundings.You Have a Love/Hate Relationship with People in General
There is a part of you that truly enjoys meeting new people and hearing their personal stories. Then there is the other part of you that loathes the idea of spending every second of the day with other people. You like people, but you can only take them in small doses.You’re Both Outgoing and Introspective
You’ve been known to hold your own in witty small talk and can make a room full of people chuckle. But when alone, you are generally thinking about the meaning of life and other huge topics. You like to have fun, but if you’re honest, you prefer to be left alone to think things through.You take A While to Warm Up Around Others
You’re more like a cat than a dog. While you can be outgoing and find other’s company enjoyable on occasion, you’re not going to feel comfortable around strangers right off the bat. It takes you awhile to warm up to new people and situations before you are truly comfortable enough to let loose and be yourself.No One Believes You’re an Introvert
Whenever the topic comes up and you tell your friends and relatives that you’re actually an introvert, no one believes you.If this sounds like you, welcome to the club. Many artists, writers and other creative types often identify as extroverted introverts so you are in good company!

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Common Signs Your Kid is Being Bullied

For many parents, bullying brings up memories of the schoolyard. You may have memories of yourself or a friend being bullied in the classroom or on the school bus. But today, social media has created a whole new realm for bullying, expanding the problem and making it easier for children to be harassed.If you’re concerned that your child may be being bullied, look for these signs.Difficulty SleepingDifficulty falling or staying asleep, or tiredness in the morning could be a sign of bullying or depression. Your child may be too anxious to fall or stay asleep; they may be crying themselves to sleep or having nightmares. Wetting the bed is another sign of fear or anxiety in a child.Unexplained InjuriesDoes your child come home from school with bruises, scrapes, cuts or torn clothes? When you ask your child about the injury or ruined clothing, do they appear nervous or avoid answering your questions? Attempt to assess if these are normal injuries as a result of play, or a sign of playground bullying. Ask them open-ended questions such as, “What happened at recess today?”Avoids Social SituationsIf you notice your child has lost friends or has developed a reluctance to spend time with them, this may be a sign of bullying. You may also notice your child is afraid to ride the bus or avoids school entirely by skipping classes or feigning an illness. They may go to the school nurse with a mystery ache to get you to pick them up early from school. If you’re beginning to notice a pattern, try talking to them about it. “I’m starting to notice you’re feeling sick a lot lately. Is everything okay at school?”Changes in Eating HabitsIf you notice your child’s eating habits are changing, such as skipping meals or binge eating, this can be a sign that something’s wrong. If your child comes home from school very hungry, it could be because they didn’t eat lunch. They could be too nervous during lunch time to eat, getting their lunch or lunch money stolen, or possibly avoiding the cafeteria entirely because of bullying or harassment.Changes in Social Media HabitsWhen a child is being bullied online, they may start spending too much time on their devices or avoiding them entirely. Monitor their social media sites by friending or following, and if you suspect bullying, check their phone for harassing messages. You may also want to look into parental control and monitoring apps.If you believe your child is being bullied at school, contact their teacher, the school principal or the school counselor or psychologist. If you or your child need professional help to deal with a bullying situation, please call us today so we can schedule an appointment.

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Does the Gender of Your Therapist Matter?

Finding a therapist that you feel totally safe and comfortable with is very important for your healing journey. Because of this, some people wonder whether it’s important for your therapist to be a certain gender.Some have theorized over the years that the gender of a therapist should not matter. After all, if they have both been trained and licensed and have a solid track record of helping clients, why should it matter?
While this attitude may make sense with other professionals, such as a dentist or veterinarian, gender can have a much more profound impact when it comes to seeking mental health counselling.Beliefs and Comfort Levels Affect TreatmentWishing your dentist was a woman instead of a man will not affect the outcome of your root canal. But feeling safer with a female therapist will affect your outcomes. Or believing that only another man can truly understand what you are going through will certainly impact the effectiveness of your treatment.A woman who is dealing with the trauma of rape may certainly not feel safe enough in the presence of a male therapist. Conversely, a woman who has been traumatized by a narcissistic mother may only feel safe with a male therapist.Parents bringing their child in for therapy may specifically seek either a female or male therapist, depending on the specific scenario or issue. A young boy without any positive male role models may need the guidance provided by a male therapist. A female child who is scarred by an abusive alcoholic father may need the safety and comfort of a female therapist.You Have Every RightYou should never be made to feel guilty because you have a preference for a therapist who is of a certain gender. Your comfort should be your number one priority.If you would like to explore treatment options and feel we may be a good fit for your needs, please reach out to us.SOURCES:https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/faq/does-sex-or-gender-of-therapist-matterhttps://www.lifecyclecounselling.com/does-the-gender-of-your-therapist-matter/https://www.drkarenruskin.com/therapist-gender-does-it-matter/

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Why EMDR is a Helpful Treatment for Sexual Abuse Survivors

In the United States, one in three women and one in six men will experience some form of sexual abuse in their lifetime, according to the National Sexual Violence Resource Center (NSVRC). When sexual abuse happens, many people don’t know how to cope with the event or express their feelings in a healthy way. The result is a life of feeling fear and shame as well as experiencing depression and anxiety. NSVRC reports that 81% of female victims and 35% of male victims will develop Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).What is EMDR and How Can it Help?Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a psychotherapy technique that has been successfully used to treat people who suffer from panic attacks, anxiety, PTSD, and other emotional issues. Before EMDR, these issues would be treated through cognitive behavioral therapy alone. While this treatment can be successful, it often takes many, many sessions for maximum relief. EMDR, on the other hand, has been considered a breakthrough modality because it can bring quick and lasting relief from a variety of emotional distress.When we experience trauma, such as sexual abuse, the natural coping capacity of our brain becomes overwhelmed and we experience the symptoms of anxiety, depression, and PTSD. Through EMDR therapy, people can reprocess traumatic information until it is no longer psychologically disturbing to them or disruptive to their lives.What is a Typical EMDR Therapy Session Like?While EMDR will use an integrative approach to therapy, it also focuses on some unique techniques. In particular, the patient will perform a series of lateral eye movements while at the same time focusing on various aspects of the traumatic memory. These left–right eye movements form a “bilateral stimulation. The therapist may use other bilateral stimulations, including alternating bilateral sounds using headphones and alternating tactile simulations using a handheld device that vibrates or taps the back of the patient’s hands.It is believed that EMDR induces a fundamental change in the circuitry of the brain, similar to what happens during REM sleep. This helps people integrate and understand memories within a larger context of their own life experiences. But EMDR is more than a set of techniques. It is a way for all people to understand their own human potential. Beyond the reprocessing of traumatic events, EMDR also allows individuals a glimpse of any limiting false beliefs they may be holding onto, such as “I’m not good enough.”In this way, the therapy not only helps people move through big, traumatic events in their past but also smaller chronic ones that color their perception of themselves and their world. This can ultimately lead to significant positive change in their lives.If you or someone you know has been the victim of sexual abuse and is interested in exploring EMDR treatment, please be in touch. We would be happy to discuss how this technique may be able to help you.Sources:https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/somatic-psychology/201303/trauma-childhood-sexual-abusehttps://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/complex-trauma-emdr-can-help-but-its-no-quick-fix-0425165https://www.emdrhap.org/content/what-is-emdr/

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Why People Misunderstand Anxiety

Did you ever play the game called “telephone” growing up? One kid whispered a secret message into the ear of the kid next to him. That kid then whispered the “same” message into the ear of the kid next to her. On and on each kid would whisper the message around the circle until you came to the last kid, who would then announce the secret message aloud.Often the final message sounded nothing like the original message. That’s because every person has their own way of hearing and sharing information. Sometimes it’s accurate – sometimes it’s not.In this way, you could say that language is a necessary evil. Without it we would not be able to share ideas and information with each other. But when each person has their own language filters, information can become skewed.Personal information and language filters can make discussing and understanding anxiety disorders difficult. While we all experience anxious moments from time to time, 18% of adults in the United States, for example, are actually affected by a form of anxiety disorder.But how many times have you heard a friend or a coworker say something like, “I was totally having a panic attack yesterday when you didn’t show up!” They weren’t actually having a panic attack, they were merely concerned you were late.When everyone assumes they have an issue with anxiety, they believe they have first-hand experience of the disorder and therefore know what it is. But using certain language that may or may not be accurate to convey a common feeling (ie – being nervous before a job interview) is not the same thing as truly knowing something.Panic Disorder VS Social AnxietyThere are two main types of anxiety disorder and for this discussion, it’s important to make the distinction between each.Panic DisorderPeople who have been diagnosed with and suffer from panic disorder believe very strongly that the “panic attacks” they experience mean something is physically very wrong with them. For instance, many sufferers believe they are having a heart attack. Some may believe the dizziness and shortness of breath is a result of some serious and undiagnosed illness such as a brain tumor.Social Anxiety Disorder (Social Phobia)People with social anxiety disorder experience anxiety when faced with social situations. They do not believe their anxiety is related to an illness or disease, yet have little control over their fear of social interactions. Their anxiety becomes debilitating when the person feels they may be singled out, embarrassed or ridiculed.People who suffer from social anxiety disorder will do anything to alleviate their fear. This means decreasing the amount of social interactions they have on a daily basis as much as possible. This disorder negatively impacts the person’s ability to emotionally connect with others, and holds them back in their career and academic life.Because of language discrepancies, those who don’t have an anxiety disorder sometimes believe they do, while those that do may assume they don’t.The main point to get across here is this: It is normal to feel anxious, fearful and worried from time to time. But feeling anxiety on a daily basis, to the point where you are concerned for your physical health or are compromising your career and personal relationships is not normal.Anxiety Disorders Are TreatableNo one should have to live with a debilitating anxiety disorder. The good news is, anxiety disorders are treatable. A therapist can help to uncover the root cause of the fear and provide tools and strategies to cope.If you or a loved one is interested in exploring treatment, please contact us today. We would be happy to speak with you about how we may be able to help.

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When Will I Start Feeling Better? Grieving for the First Time

One of the most devastating experiences we must endure in life is grieving the loss of a loved one. Although we have the knowledge that everyone will eventually die, and we logically understand the finality of death, no amount of information can prepare us for the devastation of the actual experience.Losing someone we love for the first time can be overwhelming. Trying to comprehend the finality of this separation is a shock to our system. We can feel angry, anxious, or depressed.Experiencing grief differs for each person. How we endure, experience, and eventually thrive is unique to each individual. Although Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’ five stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance) are very well known, they are still imperfect: not everyone will experience those exact emotions. There is no road map and no timeline when it comes to grief. When you start to feel better is largely up to you.One of the most important things to recognize when it comes to grief is that the length of time you spend in mourning, or the depths of the sadness you feel, is not a measure of how much you treasured the loved one you lost. At the same time, it’s unhealthy to try and “skip over” the period of mourning by burying yourself in work or play. The only way to the destination at the end is to walk the road and, to do that, you must let the feelings come up: cry when you need to cry and laugh when you need to laugh.If the sorrow you’re experiencing is overwhelming, here are some activities to try and alleviate it.Schedule time to cry.
If you find yourself spending too much time crying and upset, schedule a time to feel sad. Give yourself one hour when you can cry as much as you like. But when the hour is up, wash your face and do something nice for yourself.Do something in honour of your loved one.
This can be making a donation in their name, volunteering, planting a tree, or baking their favorite cake.Write.
Write your loved one a letter or journal your feelings.Meditate.
Find a quiet place to meditate or pray. Visit your place of worship or read religious books you find comforting.Exercise.
Go for a walk, go to the gym, or take a yoga class. Try something new, or do something familiar – whichever feels better to you.Although someone you loved has died, who they were has left a permanent mark on you: you are forever changed because of them. Honour their memory by honouring their life, and honour their life by making the best out of yours.If you are struggling with grief and need help moving forward, contact us today and let’s set up a time to talk.

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3 Signs Social Media is Hindering Your Happiness

How long has it been since you checked your Facebook or Twitter account? If you’re like most people, you use social media many times throughout the day. But while you may think social media is fun, studies have suggested that it can take a toll on our emotions.One such study by researchers at the University of Missouri focused on the effects of Facebook on mental health. They discovered that regular use could lead to symptoms of depression if the site triggered feelings of envy in the user.
Professor Margaret Duffy, a co-author of the research, said about the findings, “If it is used as a way to size up one’s own accomplishments against others, it can have a negative effect.”Other studies have revealed that most people tend to edit photos and only show the ones that make their lives seem more attractive to others. It is this constant measuring of ourselves against others that causes unimaginable amounts of grief. We see it on an almost-daily basis. Decent people with much to offer feel unworthy of happiness because they feel inferior to others. They walk into my office with what appears to be the weight of the world on their shoulders. I have found much of this weight stems from not feeling as “good, smart, pretty, wealthy, or funny” as others.If you are now wondering whether maybe your happiness has taken a hit from social media use, here are 3 signs it has:1. You Need Positive Feedback to Feel GoodLet’s face it: we all love feeling appreciated. It feels good to get that positive feedback when you post a photo or event from your life. But if you find you only have good days on the days you are getting that positive feedback online, you may be depending on social media too much.2. You’re an Instant Gratification AddictWe have become a society of people who seek out instant gratification. While it’s okay to want instant oats and instant movie streaming, having a need to instantly feel worthy and good through social media is very harmful. If the promise of instant gratification is driving your desire to post or share bits of your life, you may have become too dependent.3. You’re Reliving the Popularity Contests All Over AgainI find many of my adult clients care just as much about how many Facebook friends and likes they get as our teenage clients do. It’s as if the adults are reliving the high school popularity contests all over again. At the end of the day, are all of those Facebook friends really your friend? True happiness is having authentic connections with the loved ones in your life. If you’re paying too much attention to how many online friends you have and not enough on whether or not your face-to-face relationships are healthy, you may have a problem.The next time you find yourself on your social media sites feeling jealous, envious, or somehow less than the people on those pages, remember that people tend to present very biased accounts of their lives. They, like you, want to measure up to the rest of the world. Know that every human being is essentially struggling to feel worthy of being alive. It’s something we all seem to have in common. Instead of trying to be better than each other, let’s all instead try to have more compassion for each other.If you or someone you know is having a hard time with self-worth issues and you’d like to speak to someone, please reach out to us. We’d love to discuss how we may be able to help.

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Therapy for Divorce

When we say the words, “I do,” we never imagine that one day those words will turn into, “It’s over.” But the statistics point to the fact that many marriages do not make it. In fact, the CDC reports that 42% of marriages have a high probability of ending in divorce.Why Should You Consider Therapy for Divorce?When a marriage ends, it typically leaves one or both partners wondering, “What happened?” As a major life transition, divorce can be traumatic and mentally, physically, and emotionally draining. Therapy offers individuals powerful coping skills that can help them navigate their overwhelming thoughts and feelings. Therapy offers a safe space to explore and share your feelings so you can make sense of them yourself. It’s a way for people to have a healthier outlook on their divorce and become empowered during a very difficult time.Different Therapy Modalities for Divorce
Every situation is unique and will require the right type of therapy:Individual TherapyIndividual therapy is incredibly helpful for those people experiencing depression or anxiety, or who view the divorce as a personal failure. This type of therapy can help you discover your own needs and a better understanding of who you are.Couples TherapyDivorce will never be easy. But with the proper guidance, the lines of communication can stay open and the separation can remain constructive and amicable. A therapist can help you both navigate those hard decisions such as financial obligations and co-parenting.Family TherapyChildren are, of course, deeply affected by a divorce, and often the parents are too consumed in their own emotions to offer proper guidance. Family therapy can help the entire family deal with the feelings of loss and grief.MediationSettling a divorce in court can be costly and exhausting. Many couples choose to mediate their own divorce through the help of a trained therapist. Mediation not only costs less and typically takes far less time than divorce litigation, but it may also help improve your lines of communication as you both move forward.If you are going through a divorce and would like to discuss treatment options, please get in touch with us.SOURCES:https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/divorce/recoveryhttps://www.therapytribe.com/therapy/divorce-counseling-advice-support/https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/divorce-grownups/200904/marriage-counseling-and-the-decision-divorce

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Am I Codependent?

Codependency is a term that describes an unhealthy or unbalanced relationship where one person’s needs are met while the others aren’t. Codependent people are said to “enable” the bad behaviour of a loved one by supporting them, no matter if it negatively affects their own well-being.As an example, a parent may have a hard time setting healthy boundaries by telling their grown addict son or daughter their behaviour is unwelcome and they must move out. This is a bit of a lose/lose scenario because enabling this bad behaviour stalls recovery and only perpetuates the problem. In addition, the codependent parent puts themselves in harm’s way mentally, emotionally, and perhaps even physically.Codependency often stems from an individual’s low self-esteem, excessive need to please, and an inability to set boundaries. Codependents feel responsible for others’ problems and will take them on despite the personal toll it may cost them.Where Does Codependency Come From?Codependency is usually developed in childhood. If you grew up in an environment where your emotions were either ignored or punished, you most likely developed low self-esteem, believing your needs didn’t matter.Many codependents had parents who, for some reason, were unable to fulfill their role as caretakers. This dysfunction is usually the result of addiction, depression, narcissism, or other issues. In this situation, the child is forced to take on responsibilities beyond their years, taking care of younger siblings and even their own parent(s).When we’re young, codependent behaviours are a survival mechanism. However, as we become adults, these same behaviours prevent us from experiencing healthy relationships.Signs of CodependencyCodependent people will typically have one or more telltale codependency signs:

If you can relate to one or more of these signs, there is a good chance you may be suffering from codependency.The good news is that by committing to your own personal development and well-being and working with a therapist who specializes in codependency, you can have a profound recovery that ultimately leads to peace, fulfillment, and true connections with others.If you’d like to explore treatment options, please reach out to us.__SOURCES:__https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/conquering-codependency/202011/10-signs-you-re-in-codependent-relationshiphttps://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/codependencyhttps://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/codependencyhttps://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/codependency/recovery

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Benefits of Taking a Mental Health Day from Work or School

We’ve all had those days when the alarm goes off and we lie in bed, feeling depleted of our energy, and maybe even our good mood. We think to ourselves, “I’m not really sick, but I just need a break from real life today.” While taking a sick day is expected when you are feeling physically unwell, what’s not as expected – but perhaps should be – is taking a mental health day when you are feeling mentally and emotionally unwell.Now many, if not most, companies do offer their employees personal days with no questions asked. But many people save these days for what seems like real-life emergencies. They feel guilty if they use one of these days to simply rest and relax their mind.The truth is, taking a mental health day from work or school can be extremely important for your overall well-being. It can help you avoid burnout, improve your mood, help you get some much-needed rest, and rejuvenate you so you can tackle “real life” once again.Signs It’s Time for a Mental Health DaySo, how do you know when you are really in need of a mental health day and when you’re just feeling a bit lazy and unmotivated?StressYou’ve been feeling overwhelmed and irritable.You Just Feel… OffSometimes we don’t feel like ourselves, but we can’t quite put our finger on what’s wrong. We know we feel anxious and like the world is a bit too much. This is a sure sign you need a break.Getting Sick More OftenAre you dealing with a cold that “just won’t go away?” When we are stressed, our immune systems become compromised, and it’s harder for us to fight off the common cold.The bottom line is you should never feel guilty for taking some time for your mental health. We encourage you to take a mental health day every once in a while. Sometimes, it’s the absolute best thing we can do for ourselves.And if you find a mental health day didn’t quite do the trick, you may have more going on in your life that requires more hands-on treatment. If you like the idea of speaking with someone about whatever is bothering you, please get in touch with us so we can discuss treatment options.SOURCES:https://aaptiv.com/magazine/take-mental-health-dayhttps://health.clevelandclinic.org/is-taking-a-mental-health-day-actually-good-for-you/https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/how-to-take-a-mental-health-day

If you can relate to one or more of these signs, there is a good chance you may be suffering from codependency.The good news is that by committing to your own personal development and well-being and working with a therapist who specializes in codependency, you can have a profound recovery that ultimately leads to peace, fulfillment, and true connections with others.If you’d like to explore treatment options, please reach out to us.__SOURCES:__https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/conquering-codependency/202011/10-signs-you-re-in-codependent-relationshiphttps://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/codependencyhttps://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/codependencyhttps://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/codependency/recovery